You can pay for school but you can’t buy class

I highly doubt Jay-Z referring to Dubai when he wrote that line but I really can’t think of a better line to describe my feelings when it comes to Dubai. Despite my reluctance to visit, I found myself in the U.A.E. last weekend so I could hang out with Harsha for a few days while he was flying back from Paris.

In theory, I should love Dubai. The city, which is 4 hours away, is a gateway to my old life. I can buy all the Western goods I want, the roads actually have a functioning traffic system, I can buy fast-food, etc. However after 3 full days, I boarded my plane less than satisfied. Yes, I loved having real sushi instead of “lamb sushi”, I could actually buy clothes and people were courteous but I just couldn’t get over how soulless and classless the city is. If there were ever a reason to emphasize liberal arts, Dubai would be the reason. The city is probably has the purest form of capitalism and the closest we can get to Ayn Rand’s dream world. The city is void of culture, arts, etc. except when it’s brought in to showcase that Dubai is ‘world class’.

I’m not going to jump into a morality argument or argue about the merits of capitalism but I will say this much, Dubai proves you need something aside from money to make a city great. Monaco is just as wealthy as Dubai but people are sophisticated there and have class. Dubai is filled with all new money, people who have no class and just want to be big conspicuous spenders.

I appreciate nice things and on occasion I might buy something, usually after some research and price comparisons. However, people in Dubai tend to buy things just for the sake of buying things. Now I can let that even slide, it’s your money, if you want to buy a gold plated Vertu, fine, go for it. However, things are marked up so much in Dubai because retailers realize most people in the city just don’t care. I saw a digital camera I really wanted but it was 45% more than the U.S. price and even higher than H.K. prices.

Inflated prices aren't just limited to merchandise. We decided to get lunch at the Burj Al Arab, the self-proclaimed “7-Star Hotel” (for the record, if you go to its website, it’ll even admit it’s actually only a 5-Star Hotel) Despite hearing lots of negative things, I was still excited to go because it’s a beautiful building. The only way to go inside is if you are a guest (rooms start at $1,000) or if you get a meal at one of the 2 restaurants. As I started to walk in the lobby, I was expecting a lot…and I don’t think I’ve ever been so disappointed in my life. The Burj is quite possibly the tackiest, least classy hotel I’ve ever been to in my life. The interior designer basically splashed gold on everything. The television was gold plated, as were the elevator doors and door handles. I realize it cost nearly $750 million to build but I couldn’t find anything sophisticated about the place. Even the acclaimed restaurant was mediocre. My meal was fairly pricey but I don’t think I would even rank it in the top 20 meals of all time. I could almost justify the price of my entrée it included truffles…but the chef basically took a so-so meal and threw truffles onto it…no actual skill required. This just reinforces the notion that bringing money to the table does not make you a contender.

Dubai clearly has its shortcomings but it not a terrible place. Luckily for me, I was with the 2 best people, Harsha and Kanishk, to experience Dubai in its truest sense. I know I was in trouble when we walked out of the airport and Kanishk got a great idea to hire a Rolls-Royce to chauffer us to the hotel. Fortunately, none were readily available. When we checked into the hotel, Harsha decided it would a smart idea to upgrade our room to one of the ski chalets. Read that sentence again and try to figure out what’s more ridiculous…that we actually booked a ski chalet or that a hotel in the Middle East actually has the option.

Once we were all settled in, we did the only thing you can do in Dubai…shop. Dubai is basically Las Vegas but since it’s an Islamic city, people hang out at the mall for fun instead of gambling…it’s basically like how you spent Friday nights in 9^th grade except on a more extreme level. You can find cinemas, groceries, food, ice-skating, skiing and pharmacies in the confines of the mall. It almost threw me off how nice things were, reminded me of the U.S. People were actually friendly, no one cut in line, people deferred on the escalators, service people were friendly and not pushy. It was as far as you could get from the ‘we have secret cameras in the dressing rooms’ fiasco in Hyderabad.

We did try to do something different and decided to rent a boat to go fishing. The two other guys have never fished in their life and my only experience was in Mongolia where I was completely successful at capturing nothing. However, this didn’t stop us from going all out. The hotel set it up for us and I was surprised when we arrived at the dock to see a 31-footer. We went out about 30 miles to fish amid oil tankers. To make a long story short, everyone caught something except me…again.

Before I knew it, our 3 day trip was over and I found myself sitting in the car as we all drove back at 4 AM to our house. As we neared Hyderabad, Kanishk let out a deep sigh and said “We’re back in Hyderabad, this sucks”

Silence fell in the car as no one dared dispute the obvious.