Have I become a self-hating NRI?

During my eight months here, I’ve met up with several people from the U.S. including my sister, friends, family friends and friends of friends. It’s always good to see familiar faces and I always have fun showing people around Hyderabad. However, the one unsettling thing is that every time I playback my night after hanging out with my fellow NRIs, (non-resident Indians) I’m a bit irritated. My irritation can stem from friends commenting how much India has changed by citing something trivial such as “I can buy floss here!” to them marveling about how much more liberal the country has become since their last visit (“I saw a Hindi movie and they kissed!) All of this leads me to ask…have I become a self-hating NRI?

Although my transition has been extremely smooth, I am still a ways away from being viewed as a local. Though I’m not a local, I kind of find myself in this odd spot where I can relate to people here since I’ve been here for a while which is why is why I feel embarrassed/bite my lip whenever an NRI comes to India and says something stupid.

Despite India’s shortcomings, the country does have a lot going for it and it’s almost like NRIs can’t fully accept that fact. No one is going to mistake Hyderabad for Manhattan but cities such as Bombay and Delhi are quickly becoming quasi-international cities. Of course, in a lot of instances, I usually rate things as “A for effort, C for execution” but the fact is, people are trying and in time, more things will become world class here.

The best part of living in India is that you have an opportunity to make a meaningful impact. The country is flourishing and it’s exciting to be part of the change. India might have gained independence 60 years ago but it’s really only become a modern state in the last 20 years. Since the country is trying to make up for lost time, there is a rocky transition between where India is now and where it wants to be. Whenever people visit me, they’re quick to point out of all the contradictions of Indian life and it almost becomes their “trump card” to show how India is still backwards…they’re missing the point. The appeal of being in India now is that you have the ability to genuinely shape how the country will be. The best part is that there is no predetermined way of closing the gap of what India is and what it wants to be…you can really challenge conventional methods here since people want to bring change as quickly as possible.

People back home might be happy that India is modernizing but I think they’re actually excited because it means that they don’t have to bring toilet paper from the U.S. when they visit. Living here, I’ve realized India isn’t just trying to “catch up” The country is quickly reaching an inflection point and how it acts in the next few years will determine whether the country will become a true global leader. I’m glad I’ve been able to experience all of this over the last several months and in a way, I’m a bit sad to be moving to China because that country is already ahead of India in terms of finding its voice and putting structures into place.

Keeping all this in mind, I get irritated when visitors downplay the genuine perks of being in India and joke “must be nice to be India, having all these servants doing things for you and not worrying about the little things” In fact, the servants are probably the worst part about living in India…they rob you of your independence and you find yourself dependent on someone for everything. Sure I might have someone wash my clothes for me but I can’t even iron a shirt if I wanted to because we don’t have a normal iron set up in the house. For people who have lived in India their whole life, that’s fine but for the people who are moving to India or spent a few years outside the country, the very things NRIs think are the perks of living here are the things that make us go crazy. At first, I thought it was just me but I can even see this in Harsha, he spent 5 years in Boston and goes crazy in Hyderabad because he can’t do basic things we take for granted in the U.S.

I really do feel like people back home think Indians sit around all day eating food and bossing servants around while doing their best to maintain the status quo. Are there people like that? Of course. But for the most part, people are trying their best to transform the country. It’s easy for anyone to visit India and point out all the corruption and inefficiency…that’s a valid point. However, it’s frustrating whenever NRIs come back and choose to either ignore the progress that is being made or completely marginalize it.

Am I really a self-hating NRI? No, not at all…I’m just an NRI who sees where India is headed and gets amused when I meet an NRI who is still stuck in the past.

And on a completely unrelated note...I took this photo in December, well before the entire doppelganger crazy on Facebook. There is a new cellphone company in India, Uninor...it's a budget cell provider for the "Common Man"

Apparently I look like the common man.