Vijay + Hyderabad Nightlife = Potential Liability to Family Name

I tend to get myself into situations. Not bad situations per se but situations I likely shouldn't be in considering how boring I am. I think I can attribute this to something a friend said years ago "Your problem is that you always go for the punchline instead of taking the situation seriously" This is fairly accurate, most people like to mitigate, I prefer to push buttons, I think it's a habit I got from my dad.

This has been exacerbated since I moved to Hyderabad, particularly when it comes to the nightlife.

In my mind, San Francisco has nightlife down. Not too full of itself like NYC (Seriously, is it really a secret bar if the NY Times writes an article about it?) not too over the top like LA/Las Vegas and not too casual like Seattle.

Hyderabad club/lounge owners are trying to emulate NYC/LA. They all have big bouncers who check the line, charge ridiculous covers and have drinks that are way too much (60 bucks for 3 shots? In India?) I go to these places because first, I have nothing else to do and second, thanks to my cousins and their friends, I can get in anywhere without worrying about lines, covers, etc.

But that doesn't change the fact that I know I'm only here for several months and don't really care about the impression I'm making on the people I meet especially when my cousins or their friends give me the green light.

****Editor's Note****

All my posts have to self-censored for obvious reasons which limits the fun of the blog. 80% of the funniest moments here can't be posted online however I did have a great story that I wanted to post and actually typed out...essentially a "Barney Stinson" moment but once again, I was advised to edit the story out. It's not that crazy (how crazy can it be if I tell my sister about it? Just not smart to post online)

****End Editor's Note****

To make up for the story I had, here is something else.

In a prior post, I mentioned that there are lots of gossip magazines in the city. They all publish photos of the prior night's activities...people at clubs, etc. A running joke is how much I want to be in one of these publications. Well, this last week I kind of made it in one. When I went to that party with my aunt and cousin 2 weeks ago, there was a photographer. The photographer took a photo of my cousin which subsequently appeared in the magazine. If you look at the picture, you'll see that they crop me out of the photo. You can see my arm, part of my pants and shirt in the photo. This wasn't a case of the photographer not capturing me in the frame...the editor actually cropped me out...I guess I'm just not good looking enough or well dressed for this crowd. Sad.

A weird thing about Hyderabad nightlife is that it's driven by socioeconomic status. People from the same social status hang out together regardless of age. People in their early 20s hang out with people in their late 20s but you'll rarely if ever see 22 year old kids from different parts of town hang out. This is a big problem for me because Indian girls don't really show their age that well and I don't want to be the creepy guy hitting on a 20 year old.

Initially I tried a system when I was talking or dancing (yes, I am dancing now...please don't be too shocked) with someone. Since most people can tell I'm not from here, they ask about what I'm doing and I explain the situation and subtly follow with "Yeah, the new job has been exciting, a lot of fun, how do you like your job?" or something to that degree.

When I hear a giggle from the girl, I get nervous and go to step 2..."oh, in school? cool. You almost done with your masters or M.D.?"

This inevitably leads to an awkward moment for me when I realize the girl probably doesn't know what a Sony Walkman is or that Michael Jackson was actually black.

Now, I skip the formalities and directly ask people how old they are. More often than not, they're on the wrong side of 23. This is even more awkward because my two 20 year old cousins are usually in the room and are watching things play out or worse, I'm actually talking to their friends. It's gotten to the point where my uncle even asked me this week..."Vijay, you seem to be hanging out with Pragnya and Priyanka's friends a lot. Maybe you should hang out with people your age?"

I explained to him that I've been attending a lot of these parties with my 25 year old cousin's friends but it's just that Hyderabad nightlife is weird. This reassured him a bit but I still got a look.

Awkward.

On a side note, last week one of our factories opened up a new boiler. I was there for the pooja and broke the first coconut. This officially brings the number of things I've inaugurated in my life to...2. If you look to the right of the boiler, you can see a guy standing next to it...gives you an idea of how big the boiler is.