The Worst of Both Worlds

Before I start, 2 random things, although they both could fit the title depending on your stance in regards to globalization.

On my way back from work today, my driver Nasir, asked if could play one of his cds. I agreed and started to drift asleep. Suddenly, my ears perked up...is it? Could it be? Yes, I was definitely listening to "In da Club" by 50 cent aka Fiddy aka Mr. Ferrari. His mixtape was a compilation of Fiddy, Akon and...ABBA. I don't know what it is about 50 and the rest of the world, this guy has got global appeal. When I was in Bhutan which is one of the most isolated countries (It didnt't even have tv until 1999), I saw a few kids wearing 50 shirts and listening to his music. Sorry, Jay-Z, you're the better rapper but Fiddy has got the Bhutan market locked down.

There is a new Hindi movie called "Kambakkht Ishq" It has the usual A-List Hindi stars but also stars Denise Richards, Sylvester Stallone and Brandon Routh (Superman) Indian directors basically can't show Indian actresses in skimpy swim wear but it's totally acceptable to show white people in bikinis. Needless to say, Denise Richards is running around the screen in her bikini for a while.

Alright, now back to my original post...

For the past few days, Granules has had a college sophomore from Penn “shadow” several employees. The head office felt it would be good for the girl to visit each factory When she came to my factory, I was making small talk with her and casually asked her where she’s going to school.

“I go to UPenn, in the States.”

I almost froze in sheer bewilderment. I’ve been in India for 1 month. Either I’ve really assimilated or this girl is an idiot. I decided to press on to find out; we continue talking about Penn and I mention that I like Huntsman Hall (Business school building) since it’s such a nice facility. She stops and says:

“Oh, you know the campus very well. You been to America?”

In my mind, I was thinking ‘you stupid, stupid, stupid girl, do I look or talk like I’m from here…do I have an Indian accent?’ However, I refrained and explained to her that I’ve lived in America for 20 years and just moved to India 4 weeks ago. I don’t know what it is about me…in Vietnam, a woman thought I was a local. I’m starting to understand why so much of the world hates Americans.

I would have no problem that non-resident Indians can’t tell I’m from America IF locals accepted me as one of their own. However that’s far from the case. Some things are my own doing such as my clothing choices which my cousins classify as “very San Francisco” while other things are out of my control such as my accent.

I’m facing two barriers with language. One of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made was not keeping up with my mother tongue, Telugu. I can understand 90% of a conversation and can somewhat converse in the language alas with poor grammar.

At work, there is a guy who brings lunch into my office everyday. One day, I was typing so I decide I want a fork.

Me: Hey, I want a fork

Guy: Sir?

Me: Fork

Guy: ***stares***

Me: Fork ***makes motion with my spoon***

Guy: Sir?

I go to my computer, load google images and then show him a picture of a fork. He figured it out and got me my fork.

That doesn’t frustrate me because I’m quickly picking up the language and learning more words since I’m back. However, the second barrier is my American English accent which does frustrate me quite a bit. For example, the cook only speaks Telugu, not a word of English. I will tell the cook something in Telugu which totally makes sense, but she can’t get beyond my accent so she just stares at me. I’ve resorted to calling my cousins who will then call the cook with directions.

Even in the office where everyone speaks English, I constantly find myself slowing my speech and really focusing on clearly pronouncing my words so people can understand me. I don’t need to do this with everyone, but people do appreciate it.

Since everyone in India is about saving face, no one will admit when they can't understand me...

Me: What's the difference between a spin flash dryer and a fluidized bed dryer?

Guy: Yes, sir.

Me: What?

Guy: Sir?

Me: ***Smile*** Okay, let's try this one more time...

While accents are a problem for both sides, I find myself smiling at times with the British/Indian English pronunciation and spelling. American pronounce “0” as zero while Indians say “zed” My spell check for example is highlighting “utilize” since I didn’t spell it as “utilise”

My experience is really no different from what Indian or Asian TAs go through in college. Sure, they might speak English but doesn’t mean everyone can understand them. I’m glad I was never one of those bratty kids who complained in college since I now find myself on the TA side of the table. I have no problem adopting and actually want to assimilate but I did a feel a bit of myself die the other day when I pronounced “work” as “verk” and “we” as “v”

If you don’t understand why, then you’ve clearly never been to India.