Take it Easy Policy

Before we start, I’m not sure what Kylie Minogue is doing in a Bollywood movie but here she is. And yes, the song is really called Chiggy Wiggy…sigh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2B_lsKVw8M

I need to explain two things for this blog to make any sense.

I have this uncanny habit of trying to balance the people around me. If you’re serious, I’ll try to tone it down a few notches and if you’re laid back, you’ll think I take myself way too seriously. As my friends can attest, I do this all the time but I think it’s even more prevalent at work. Some of the feedback during my peer reviews at Key made it seem like I was bipolar.

The second thing revolves around my 3 years in investment banking. A 1st year analyst will make banking sound incredibly cool and you’ll almost be a bit jealous. However, a 3rd analyst will give you a more realistic picture and won’t hide the fact that analyst spend countless hours formatting PowerPoint slides and other mundane tasks. Even the most care-free person will become jaded and bitter. I’m out of banking but I’ve carried over several habits including the ability to treat every situation as an emergency that must be resolved, otherwise the world will end.

So why am I telling you this? Because I’m starting to think my invitation to join Granules was an elaborate set-up by my cousin for his sheer amusement. Indian corporate culture is so laid back and lax that I might end up killing myself. With the exception of our consultants, everyone here operates with a “Take it Easy” attitude. Harsha seems to be enjoying my daily rants…after I’m done, I can see a small smile form on his face basically saying, “welcome to the hell I’ve been dealing with for the last 3 years”

Time Management

In the Western World, time is treated as a valuable resource…almost like gold. We try to maximize our time and fit in as many things as possible. People in India on the other hand treat time as an abundant commodity, like sunshine in Vegas. Things don’t have to move at a fast pace because if you don’t get your stuff done today, there is always tomorrow.

One of the things that drive me crazy is when people are late…which is half the reason why I always look so irritated. If someone tells me there is a meeting at 10:00 AM, I’m usually there by 9:58 AM…I’ll be lucky if anyone else shows up before 10:10 AM. It’s gotten to the point, where I have to go to everyone’s cube and drag them into the meeting. After I get people in the room, nothing starts before we all get our coffee/tea for the meeting…so best case scenario..10:00 AM meeting kicks off at 10:30 AM. Even people who are pitching to us show up late, I’ve had a few companies show up 30-40 minutes late and they don’t usually apologize for it.

That being said, lunch is a sacred time and people will give you the look of death if you bother them from 1:00 – 2:00. If you have a meeting during the morning that is approaching 1:00 PM, it’s best to be prepared that people’s brains shut down sharply at 1:00 PM and will not turn back on for 60 minutes.

Cell Phone Etiquette

Most people usually put their phones on silent or vibrate while at work…not so much in India. People at work will leave their phones on loud and walk away to do other stuff…so at any point, there seems to be a random phone blasting some Indian song ringtone in the office

I actually think that only time I’ve ever seen a sense of urgency in India is when someone’s phone is ringing. It’s almost like they have an invisible gun to their head and they MUST pick up, right at that moment. I’ve been talking to people and they’ll pick up their phone in mid-sentence and start talking to someone else. There is no “hold on” or “excuse me for a minute” …the phone will ring, they’ll grab their phone, click answer and start talking while I wait for them to finish the phone conversation.

People don’t put their phones on vibrate during meetings either. Phones will go off and the worst part is, people answer it and start carrying on a conversation. They cover up their mouths while they talk, which I still don’t understand. We’re not 4 years old here, just because you’re covering your mouth, doesn’t mean we can’t suddenly hear you or that we can’t figure out who is talking.

Communication
You know how information/knowledge is supposed to be pushed instead of being pulled? Apparently 98% of India has yet to receive that memo. While the other things I’ve mentioned so far are fairly trivial and mostly amusing, the most frustrating thing I’ve experienced in India is the flow of information.

People here don’t believe in providing status updates. For example, in the middle of July, I asked our technician to send in a laptop to be repaired because someone dropped it. One week later, I ask the tech what happened and he says “oh yeah, the Sony guy who fixes laptops has been gone for 4 days, he’ll be back tomorrow”

A bit irritating that he didn’t tell me this he found out, but okay, whatever. 4 days later…

”Hey, what did the Sony guy say about the laptop?”
“Oh, we need to file an insurance claim, then I’ll have it repaired”
“When did he tell you about the insurance claim?”
“3 days ago”
“So why didn’t you file it then?”
“Because I wanted to know if you want to pay the deductible”
“But if this happened 3 days ago, why didn’t you tell me?”
***Silence***

It’s not just at our Company, but most employees are not forthcoming with information…you have to constantly ask people for updates to see how things are progressing…the concept of FYI e-mails is non-existent here. Everyone just adheres to the ‘take it easy’ policy that things will happen when they happen, why speed it up?

Since I tend to be more strict and uptight when I’m with laid back people, I’ve had a heck of a time adjusting. At first, I tried to change the culture, for example, I started sending Outlook Meeting Invites so people would show up on time and when the situation was urgent, I didn’t hesitate to make people work through lunch or stay at work until 10:00 PM on Saturdays. However, I’ve come to accept that if I push too many changes, I will face a mini-mutiny or have workers who hate me. I can’t change the culture here, which is why I’m picking my battles. I just resort to complaining to Harsha about how things are done in India and he seems extremely amused by my aggravations.

While Harsha’s motives aren’t completely clear, my uncle’s motives are. He is very much a nationalist and is using me as a propaganda tool. Every time he introduces me to someone, he tells them I left America and moved to India because this is where the future will happen. The American Consulate General was over for dinner and my uncle made it a point to say “look, one of your own country men had to leave your country in order to find real opportunities.” Yikes.

Speaking of my uncle, I love him but he is quite possibly one of the most terrifying people to deal with at work. India’s corporate culture is very hierarchy driven. So my uncle, as the Managing Director, will rarely speak to any junior people. Several months ago, he called in a junior person to his office so she started to freak out (to be perfectly honest, I even freak out when I’m called into his office since he’s so intimidating) He had heard a lot of good things about her so he wanted to meet her. He started talking to her and asking her exactly what she did, etc. She freaked out and started crying when he asked her what her goals were because she was convinced that he was going to fire her. It took a few hours for everyone to convince her that he wasn’t going to fire her and just wanted to say hello. Needless to say, he hasn’t talked to many junior people since.

I’m going hiking in Ladakh which is in North India next week…it’s in Kashmir, the northern most part of the country and only 30-40 miles from Tibet. Will post pictures once I’m back, provided I don’t die.