How can you not have fun in a city with Wu in it?

I’ve been living a lie. I tell everyone I live in Wuhan but over the last 30 days I’ve only been in my apartment for 4 days. I spent 2 weeks in America, then spent several days traveling around China for work before I headed to Wuhan for meetings. After the quick trip to Wuhan, I spent 5 days in Shanghai for a convention and the World Expo.

My traveling has gotten the point that my co-worker, Sharon, told me that our bet on whether I’d last a year in Wuhan is off because I keep on traveling. I moved to Wuhan on March 16^th, about 11 weeks ago. I’ve been out of the country for 4 of those weeks and traveling around China for an additional 3 weeks. I normally wouldn’t mind traveling this much, but I have no routine and have completely neglected my Chinese classes. People expect me to know some Chinese since I’ve been here for 3 months but I barely know more than a handful of words. Whoops.

So where to begin after taking a month off from the blog? First, I had a great time in America; it was awesome seeing friends and family after such a long time but what was the best part of my two weeks?

Was it seeing a blue sky? Access to Mexican food? Talking to people with nice teeth? The fact that I could walk through Wal-Mart without seeing pig faces for sale? No, surprisingly, the best part was that daily tasks were not a struggle.

I could jump into a taxi without pulling out a note telling where I wanted to go. I could pay my cellphone bill without asking someone in my office to help. I could buy exactly what I wanted without handing my phone to the store owner to talk to my co-workers. I was able to log on to Facebook without using special security software to get around the Chinese Firewall. I basically didn’t have any communication issues for the first time since I moved out of the country last year. Even in India, where people speak English, it’s a pain to get things done since life is slower and people are used to doing things differently. When I was in Medina, I broke my shoe laces so I went to Wal-Mart and got a new pair of laces...when that happened to me in India, I had to give me shoes to my driver so he could find the right laces. And if this happened in China, I’d be screwed. In fact, I’m kind of going through a similar issue now. I don’t own a keychain in China (In India, I never had to carry a key) I desperately need a keychain but don’t know how to get one here.

I knew I’d face a lot of daily hardships in China; it’s the price to pay for moving to a non-Western country where I don’t speak the language or understand how things work. I’m not saying living in China sucks, but it was nice being independent again for a few weeks.

There are actually a few things I missed about China when I was home.

1. Man Purses – A lot of you complain that I don’t post pictures of my life in Wuhan. I don’t take pictures because I have no space for my camera. In the spring time I can wear a jacket, but it’s about 90 degrees right now so it’s hard to find space for a camera when I’m already carrying 2 cell phones and a wallet. Chinese men have resolved this issue…almost every man has a man purse. Now, not a traditional purse but not quite a satchel either…I’ll have to take a picture for my next blog but the man purse in China is essentially a woman’s clutch with a strap. I envy how they can throw everything in there especially when I struggle juggling so many things in my pockets. When I was in Hong Kong, I almost got capris after watching all the Europeans rave about the benefits…but I was talked out of it by all my friends. Now that I’m in Wuhan with no friends and only French expats, it might just be a matter of time before I get a man purse.

2. No tips – Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem tipping for good service but I hate how everyone in America expects 15% no matter what. Also, bar tenders expect tips for opening a beer bottle and random shops will have tip jars. I think one of the better examples is how the taxis in NYC have an option to tip 30%. Yeah, 30% tip on my trip to Newark airport…keep on wishing buddy.

Everyone feels entitled. China takes it to the other extreme. Here you can’t tip even if you want to. Waitresses will return money if you leave it on the table and taxi drivers will wave you off if you try to give them a few extra RMB.

3. How cheap things are – Unless you’re thinking of real estate in a tier I city such as Shanghai or western luxury brands, things in China are really cheap. My concept of how much things should cost is getting warped. When I go out to eat by myself, I usually order 2-3 entrees since things are so cheap, yet I still feel guilty when my bill is over 10 U.S. dollars. Last week I took a few people out for a business dinner and thought it was crazy how I spent 150 USD for 7 people including alcohol. Then I remembered how I spent 10 dollars for a beer in NYC which would make people in Wuhan faint. Even in Shanghai, a beer won’t cost that much, although a mixed drink would.

4. How brash the Chinese are – in business and personal matters, the Chinese are all about saving face. But day-to-day stuff…who cares what you think? When I came back from the U.S., the first thing my counterpart told me was that I gained weight. On a plane ride, the guy sitting in front of me leaned back, adjusted MY fan control and pointed it towards him.

Also, the Chinese love staring if they find something to be interesting. Remember the Seinfeld episode when Jerry equates staring at cleavage like staring at the sun? The Chinese never got that episode…they have no problem being obvious. Staring isn’t even that big of a deal, it’s probably the fact that they point and stare that cracks me up the most. Have to appreciate how direct they are.

I’ve got a lot more to write but this post is already running long…will just have to wait until later this week. In the mean time, here is a picture from my living room. That big globe on the left? That's a Howard Johnson Inn....yeah, pretty legit for a HoJo.