Karaoke, Whiskey and Female "Friends"

First off, I apologize for slacking off with my blog. It's been 6 weeks since I've posted...sorry. So what have I been up to? I ran a half-marathon in the Gobi Desert, spent 10 great days in the U.S. and then a week in Paris. Before I explain my post title, let me recap the things I just mentioned.

Mongolia - There are many ways to describe me. Among the many words in the English language...smart, handsome, witty, Indian Brad Pitt, asset to humanity, humble and so on...really the list goes on. However, the one word most people don't associate with me is 'runner' People don't blink an eye when I say I've climbed Kilimanjaro, hiked in Patagonia or scaled Machu Picchu but when I mention that I run, people are shocked. Maybe it's because I look so goofy in running shorts...who knows.

Anyway, I've run 2 half marathons so I thought why not go for #3? And why bother training? I mean, it's only 13 miles and how hard can it be to run in one of the world's largest deserts? Well, surprisingly hard. I listened to music as a bunch of camels watched me drag myself through 13 miserable miles in the desert. The problem with running in the desert is that there are no real landmarks, so it doesn't even feel like you're moving. When there are landmarks, they happen to be sand dunes which is terrible because the only thing worse than running is running in sand.

I could go on and on but to sum it up...my 3rd half marathon = tough and not fun. On the upside, I got to visit Mongolia again, which I consider to be the most beautiful country I have ever seen.

As for my trip back to the U.S. Yeah, I just sat at home, it was great. I also happened to get a picture with a dancing Pop-Tart at Pop-Tart World. For those of you who don't know this (and if you don't, we're not that close) I love Pop-Tarts. Specifically, smores. For a solid 10 years, I ate 2 every morning before school. This probably explains a lot about my general physique.

Finally onto Paris. I've been to Mongolia twice, Cambodia and Laos but I've never been to France. I had prepared myself to hate France, after all, the French can be troubling to deal with. However, I quickly realized all the French I've met in my life aren't reflective of the French in Paris. People in Paris were extremely nice and helpful. While Paris is ridiculously expensive, I will admit that it's a nice city and feels extremely laid back and charming for an international city. Two notable events while I was there...I happened to see Jimmy and Rosemary, who got engaged that week in Paris and I also had the first time experience of getting rejected into 3 clubs in a row. I blame this on Andrew for wearing sneakers...in Paris...a city that never dresses down.

Which brings me back to China. I was out of China for exactly 25 days. The first I noticed when I got back? My lungs started burning on the taxi ride home. I had clearly gotten used to the dirty air in Wuhan but after 3.5 weeks out of the city, I had to re-adjust. After a few days, the general tightness eased up. This probably should be concerning but I figure eating fresh fish is worse for me...God knows what goes into the river.

After settling back into life in Wuhan, I decided to make a visit out to some of our suppliers in China. Now, I'm not in purchasing at my Company but I do influence certain aspects of it. Plus, our suppliers know my unique relationship in the Company...so needless to say, people are nice to me. Suppliers give me all sorts of gifts...expensive green tea (which you can't downplay; I sometimes spend more money on a pot of tea than a bottle of liquor) jade necklaces and my personal favorite...golden silk pajamas.

Anyway, I went to visit one of my favorite suppliers. Now, within our industry, these guys are known as party animals. As I've mentioned before, the Chinese love to drink...despite that, these guys stick out. The first time I visited them, someone from my Company conveniently said he had a "medical condition" so he couldn't drink. That didn't stop these guys...they made me drink that person's share. The last time I went to visit, I thought I could escape drinking because I drove to the restaurant. The supplier decided to "fix" the problem by switching dinner to my hotel so we could drink all night. I'm a social drinker by heart but these guys make me want to quit drinking sometimes. The next morning, the supplier was an hour late because as she cheerfully said "I was so drunk last night that I blacked out at home, sorry!" Well, you have to appreciate the honesty.

During the visit last week, we killed the customary 2 bottles of Chinese Whiskey between the 5 of us. It ended, in what is quickly becoming a tradition, by taking 2 double shots. As I started walking back to my hotel room, the one person quickly said 'hey, do you want to see the nightlife?"

Now, I still don't know what I was thinking but I said yes and immediately regretted it. I think even the Chinese were kind of surprised I said yes.

They quickly whisked me away down the street to the local hot spot which, honestly, wasn't that bad of a bar. On our way to the bar, the suppliers asked me about the girl situation in Wuhan. They bluntly stated that since I drive a BMW, I can get any local girl I want. Sadly, this has not been the case. Then one of them asked if I had a girlfriend, I made the mistake of being honest and said 'no' which would come back to haunt me later in the night.

We sat down at the bar and within minutes, I saw a bottle of Chivas with several sparklers coming from the bar. I was amused at the sight...who gets bottle service in a tiny little town? Then my amusement turned to horror as I realized the bottle was heading in my direction.

That's right...straight to my table. I've gotten bottle service twice in my life. Once in Cleveland at a bar called "Sinergy" and now in China. I can't decided which occasion was more inappropriate. The night continued without anything notable until I returned back from the bathroom. As I walked back to the couch, I noticed 2 attractive girls sitting on our couch, to be specific, where I had been sitting.

I quickly realized what just happened and decided to sit down at the far end of another couch...my supplier looked at the two girls and they promptly got up and sat down next to me. I'm not what you call an awkward guy, but something is very uncomfortable when your supplier is acting like your wingman. Actually, I don't know if this even counts as being a wingman as much as...well, you know.

To top it off, neither girl spoke English and as we know, I can barely speak Chinese. Plus I don't think saying things like "How much are the noodles" or "I want to read a book" are useful in this situation. I tried to make the best of the situation and at first, I ignored the hands on my shoulders, then I ignored the hands of my knees and then....well, let's just say I pretended to take A LOT of phantom phone calls on my phone throughout the night to avoid the girls. Luckily I had my blackberry so I kept on excusing myself to "respond to an urgent e-mail"

So there you have it. My first encounter with the shadiness of Chinese business culture. I was warned about this stuff before I moved to China but still very surprised to see things be so blatant.

The next morning I was laughing to myself about the whole situation and as I went to visit another supplier I was thinking "how can my trip get more ridiculous?"

When I went to meet my next supplier, we sat down and he says "Do you want a beer?"

It was exactly 11:47 AM

Welcome to China.