My mom is terrified to see me

I’ve been in India for nearly 3 months but will be returning back to the U.S. for Sachin’s wedding next weekend. While my family is excited to see me, they’re also a bit scared to see me because they’re wondering how much I’ve changed. I have changed…it’s inevitable…some things are small, some things are for the better and some for the worse.

I’ve always maintained that my life in Jubilee Hills is a fantasy lifestyle and have tried to stay grounded but things creep up on you.

I was at an industrial print shop with an office person, he was talking to someone and called me…”Babu” which means “boy” I glared at the person because I’ve grown accustomed to all junior people calling me Sir or Mr. Vijay

I get irritated when I call my driver and he’s not outside by the time I’m downstairs when I need to leave the office. Keep in mind; I literally give him a 60 second lead-start and he has to come from the garage. Speaking of my driver, I tell him exactly what time I want him to show up every morning. About 99.5% of the time, I’m not ready by the time he arrives. I don’t really care because he’s the driver, it’s his job to wait. However, if I am ready and have to wait for him to arrive, I usually call and scold him. Before you call me a jerk, I’ve only been ready about 4 times before he got to the house.

Also, I’m not this evil boss when it comes to the driver. I still am not driving on a regular basis and I hate to call Nazeer on the weekend because he lives 55 mins away. On a few instances, I’ve wanted to visit people but didn’t want to call the driver just so he could drive me 2 km so I’ve told people I can’t hang out. However, don’t think this means I won’t hesitate to call Nazeer to pick me up on Sunday so I can go to the open bar at the Marriott brunch.

I know half of you are rolling your eyes and probably think I’m a terrible person but I am trying my best to be a good person at work. I’ve made people come into work on their off-days because of tight deadlines but I thank them profusely and stay to help them no matter how late it is. However, I’m still having a kick at how some people treat me differently at work. Luckily I do not believe my own hype. I recently wrote our annual report…several people have noted how amazing it is, how it’s the best one the Company has ever put out, etc…if you look at it…it’s SLIGHTLY better than last year’s company. More so than the junior people, the admin people are treating me with way too much respect. I went to the bathroom and saw a security guard at the urinal. I used the facilities and washed my hands, glanced over and noticed the guard still standing there. The second I started to dry my hands, he started to walk over…apparently he didn’t want to create a scene by washing his hands at the same time the MD’s nephew was….ridiculous. Also, when I walk in an aisle or stairwell, people will stop and move to the side…come on people, keeping on working, I’m pretty sure we can both walk at the same time.

People have very low expectations of my “Indian-ness” since they assume I’m a whitewashed Indian. Office people are pleasantly surprised when they hear me listen to Indian music or when I mention that I am in love with Katrina Kaif. Today some guy in marketing goes “Wow, you eat Indian food? Impressive.” Like I said…very low expectations.


(If you say anything bad about Katrina, feel free to delete yourself from my Friends List)

Of course I tend to ruin any goodwill by asking stupid questions. When I was looking at a project calendar, I asked why October 2nd was a holiday…people looked at me, finally someone said “Sir, that’s Gandhi’s birthday….and your uncle’s birthday as well”

That’s another thing I’ve noticed about India…work plays a huge role in someone’s life. In the U.S., we celebrate Independence Day with family/friends…here, people spent part of their day at the factories to celebrate. Some of them even celebrate major religious holidays in the office with us.

In a totally different direction…I’m still not completely fitting in here. I was never part of the cool and trendy crowd in the U.S. but I fit into a certain niche… the slightly (okay, maybe more than “slightly” but it’s not like I play World of Warcraft) nerdy, sarcastic friend. Unfortunately, that niche doesn’t exist here. I constantly find myself looking at people and thinking “man, you think you’re so cool but you’d be a total douche in the U.S.” Everyone just tries too hard here. That being said, I might need to start growing facial hard in order to fit in.


Other random things…

In San Francisco, when I lost my temper, I’d throw a bouncy ball in my office…since I’m back in a cubicle now, I can’t do that…so one late evening when I lost my temper with a consultant, I threw my pen against the wall. An office boy saw me do this, ran to the wall, grabbed my pen, and brought it back to me...it was great.

I met Dr. Reddy of Dr. Reddy’s Labs…pretty awesome experience.

I’ve slowly starting walking like an uncle….arms locked behind my back. I catch myself doing it…squirm and try to stop but it’s just so comfortable….

I have found Telugu Rap, I will let you judge…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyuaMnT7D2c&NR=1

I went to the World Badminton Championships a few weeks ago in Hyderabad. Of course Team America got destroyed by Team Malaysia. I will say it’s a fairly interesting sport and I might watch it again in the future.


(Near court is Hong Kong while the far court is China)


And finally, after 3 months of living in India…what have I learned? Bribes make the world go round.